Petition against the reactosphere

Believe it or not, life is stirring in old Europe. The fate of that sad continent has always reminded me of a fantasy novel I read when I was 18 and read fantasy novels, Guy Gavriel Kay’s Tigana. As La Wik explains:

The plot focuses on a group of rebels attempting to overthrow both tyrants and win back their homeland. Many of the rebels are natives of the province of Tigana, which was the province that most ably resisted Brandin: In a crucial battle, Brandin’s son was killed. In retaliation for this, Brandin attacked Tigana and crushed it more savagely than any other part of the Palm; then, following this victory, he used his magic to remove the name and history of Tigana from the minds of the population. Brandin named it Lower Corte, making Corte, their traditional enemies to their north, seem superior to a land that was all but forgotten.

Only those born in Tigana before the invasion can hear or speak its name, or remember it as it was; as far as everyone else is concerned, that area of the country has always been an insignificant part of a neighbouring province, hence the rebels are battling for the very soul of their country.

When we Americans contemplate the depressing spectacle of “European socialism”—i.e., American socialism, sent by airmail—squatting like an evil alien bat where once reigned the forty kings that made France, it’s hard for me to forget this otherwise trifling confection. Of course I assume the author had something entirely different in mind. But you never know.

In any case, our patriotic magicians remain hard at work:

Part of the problem is that mass media in Scandinavia (and elsewhere) allow massive quantities of hatred by anonymous/pseudonymous commentators to be attached to almost any article in the web editions of their publications. That is a marked shift for the publishing standards previously used for letters columns.

True, you can’t stop hate speech on all of the internet. But there is arguably a big difference between hate speech on fringe sites populated mostly by violencemongering racists/islamophobes and giving such individuals space in the comments section of large papers. That only gives them a sense of breakthrough and the comment section format makes robust counterargumentation not very likely. Papers ought to either ban anonymous comments altogether or hire enough moderators to be able to keep up with a very strict moderation 24/7.

Indeed. You’d think it would be trivial just to configure a filter which detected the word “Tigana”—replacing it with the correct “East England,” simply ditching the post, or more proactively alerting the relevant authorities. Alas, there’s no limit to the typographic tricks of these scoundrels. Fortunately, many socially conscious Europeans are already seeking employment. Now that we’ve seen the dangers, I’m sure this little newspaper thing will be solved toot sweet.

But concerned Americans may be surprised at the extent of information terrorism in East England. It’s for our own good, of course. America is the Jedi nation, and it’s natural that we fear the ancient peril of the Sith. If we knew how strong they have already become, in their old nest of East England, the cold reality might paralyze us into inaction. Can we ever forget that 250 years ago, America herself was nearly conquered by this foul pseudo-nation? Those days are over, of course. But if we are too quick to forget them, they might return.

For instance, I’d be surprised if there are a hundred Americans whose noble souls have been lost truly and for good to the utter darkness of reaction. That’s not much of a reactosphere—more like a reacto-dot. When I search for the word réacosphère, however—yes, misspelled, I know, with the odd marks of East England’s funny old dialect—I get—wait for it—185,000 hits. Is that disturbing? Or is that disturbing? Don’t forget, these same people came very close to killing George Washington.

Fortunately, one patriotic East Englishman is on the case. He has identified the central hive or Death Star of this hateful “réacosphère”—or as more socially conscious East Englishmen put it, fachosphère (I trust no translation is necessary). This is the notorious François Desouche. The identity of M. Desouche is not known. He is known to be a racist, however.

Fortunately, as an American I am unable to read East English—actually now illegal in many states. But like everything American, our computers are the best in the world, and can translate this horrible gargling muck with mechanical precision, saving my tonsils from carcinogenic hate speech. In fact, I suspect that Google’s algorithms have actually improved this material.

Otherwise, it would surely have already done the trick, as M. Desouche is still out there abusing our tolerance. Whereas just from the picture, it’s clear that East Englishmen have always known what to do about hate speech:

Please put a cross where I have to vote! Or would that be sacrilegious? After all, Paris is worth a mosque…