Dispatches from the real America

I admit it. I’m a reality junkie. I’m like the junkie junkie who’s figured out that he can buy drugs on the Internet. I’ve figured out that I can get me some reality, real reality, not oregano sprayed with paraquat. And where else? On the Internet.

The serious heroin aficionado, if still functional, lives his junkie life surrounded by poor dumb muggles who believe they’re getting “high on life.” Bullshit! High is spelled heroin. Your muggle can’t even imagine high. It’s like trying to explain electricity to a blind man.

And your reality muggle, your good sober Republican or Democrat, thinks he’s mainlining reality every day with his daily dose of the Times, his CNN, his Harvard education, maybe if he’s a little bit edgy his Reason or Instapundit or, God forbid, Overcoming Bias. He’s even smoked marijuana a few times! He’s totally plugged in! The poor fscker. He’ll always be a muggle. There’s something going on here, Mr. Jones. And you don’t know what it is—do you, Mr. Jones?

It simply never ceases to amaze the junkie that not everyone does heroin. So far as I can tell, out of the gigantic, saccharine, mendacious collective mugglesphere response to Anders Behring Breivik, I have not seen one outlet new or old, left or right, so much as even mention the only interesting non-plagiarized part of Herr Breivik’s vast Templar manifesto—the killer’s own reminiscences of growing up as a hip-hop tagger in Pakistani gang-ruled Oslo. Human beings cannot stand very much reality. Then again, I guess they can’t stand much heroin, either.

Okay, to be fair, his mother’s herpes-induced brain damage earns props—as does Utoya’s revolutionary brotherhood with al-Fatah. Peace and love! Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades! Didn’t Malcolm X say something about chickens coming home to roost? But those links hardly point to Mr. Jones. Yes, you can order heroin on the Internet. No, you can’t order it at fscking drugstore.com. You’ve got to actually go out and score that shit.

And right now, there’s no contest for the hardest reality on the Internet. You get your heroin at Silk Road (if it still exists, or ever did—alas, I’m simply too old to be a junkie junkie). And you get your reality at Second City Cop , which is to the New York Times as heroin is to fscking Advil.

Click on that link. It’s primo, of course. It’s nothing out of the ordinary. SCC serves up shit this good two or three times a month. You’re getting your heroin straight from a fscking cop. How much purer can it get? And good as the posts are—the comments are even better. They’re pretty much all cops, too. Some of them aren’t literate. But others are.

So like a good pusher, I thought I’d collect some of this stone-cold reality for the discerning aficionados here at UR. Remember, kids: always use a clean needle. And think twice before you apply for your Cultural Marxist hunting license, no matter how appalling this material is:

Let’s start with some heartwarming, if dubious, optimism:

I work at a small new media publication that serves Chicagoland.

Newspapers are like Amy Winehouse a week ago. They may be alive right now, but there’s no doubt how their story turns out.

They will always exist in one form or another- owning one will be a hubris thing for local big shots (kinda like owning a sports team)- but their days of being of ‘premier relevance’ are over.

Going forward, “New Media” will consist of the following three entities.

1) Credible, independent commentary (just like this blog)

2) Established “masterbrands” serving video content (i.e.- the networks)

3) Amateur content and commentary.

In the year 2011 and beyond, there is just no room left for grinding trees into dried, bleached pulp, dousing them with ink and hoping people care enough to pay for it.

The newspaper’s glory days as the ‘immutable ideological bastion of liberal thought and idea’ died as soon as US internet saturation broke 50% and opened up the free exchange of information to everyone, rather than being filtered by a closed-circuit cabal of old media clerics.

Don’t confuse yourselves, my uniformed friends. Just because they aren’t ‘gone’ yet doesn’t mean they aren’t wholly and entirely dead.

Do not fret when you see some BS story published by old media. Their ‘reach’ figures are padded and dishonest, meant to keep their kooky old shareholders believing… They’re a tree falling in the woods.

Amateur content and commentary? Credible and independent? Or just racist?

I was at the express DMV at the Thompson Center last month, I had to wait to talk to a supervisor about my license renewal (I’m a reservist and did a tour, and because my license has been expired longer than a year they were trying to tell me I have to take a friggin road test like I’m some 16 year old kid, but I digress…) and right next to me sits this fat, 300lb monstrosity of a human being, pregnant, eating, can’t make this up, flaming hot cheetos. I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

So the super comes out and tells me he has to make a phone call to check on that, and then he kinda walks away and Kikishawreeka asks me “dat be da manager?” I look at her, and after about 5 seconds, hesitantly, disgustingly say “yes.” She then tries to get his attention via ebonics, and he told her she had to wait. Haha, it was great, a little victory in an otherwise shit city with shitheads roaming the streets.

All I could think, was SHE WAS THE PROBLEM. IT’S YOU FUCKING THIS CITY UP. You are waiting to pop out a welfare check that I get to pay for, as they train to point guns at da poleece.

I went home and took 5 showers in a row.

Anyway, keep up the good work CPD. You are the real police. Fuck the liberals, fuck the yuppies, fuck the media, and of course fuck the rev-undones.

This kid in the pic, has a damn blunt in one and, and throwing up VLN in the other, at 13 years old. Yep, great kid you got there, must be proud. Here’s hoping this kid stays in Juvi till he’s 18, gets out, commits a felony where nobody gets hurt, and spends the next 20 with IDOC.

Get used to them bars kiddo, you’ll be seeing them the rest of your pathetic, ghetto, poor excuse of a human life.

That’s racist! “VLN,” I believe, means “Vice Lord Nation.” This is racist too:

Saw Jimmell’s mother on the tv news talking shit about how the cops shot her son in the back with his hands up. I really hope she uses some of that money she gets from the city to get her jack-o-lantern looking teeth fixed.

Back to hopeful patriotism:

Thank you SCC. When the story was on the news tonight, I listed to the POS father say that his son was a good boy that was never around guns. The media allowing the POS father’s statement to be aired in order to sway America is disgusting. I prompty took my three young children to the SCC site and showed the picture of the boy throwing up “Vice Lord”. Yeah, the same VL’s that want to kill their Dad and terrorize Chicago.

My little kids just got the biggest life lesson about manipulative liberal media tonight, and because of you SCC they are one step closer to being conservative, pro union, anti WIC, anti LINK, ANTI Section 8, anti Obama, and anti-combine.

SCC continue to do this for America.

Patriotic Americans are not above criticizing the press:

If he’s a “straight A and B” student, then why is he in the sixth grade at the age of 13? That would make him around twenty years old if he graduates high school without flunking again, right?

Also, why does Pravda, I mean the Scum Times and Fibune, not just come clean about the cropped gang picture? Do they really believe that they can call themselves ethical reporters if they have to crop and edit pictures to get their version of a story out?

Instead of giving air time to the “parents” of this young thug, do they want to report on the criminal history and gang affiliation on the father and ask why the kid was armed with a BB gun past curfew? How about why the only photo the “family” has to give anyone shows the kid flashing gang signs?

Oh, excuse me. That’s what a real reporter would do if they weren’t agents for a propaganda machine and seeking instead to do a real job of reporting the truth. That’s WAY too much to ask of Chicago “journalists.”

I guess people will just have to come to this blog if they want the truth in current events. Pathetic.

To be fair, the Chicago Tribune was once a great newspaper. The educational system has also, apparently, declined:

This POS received mostly A’s with a few B’s because his baby sitter/teacher wanted him out of his/her classroom.


Because the baby sitter/teacher was aware that the POS liked to play with firearms and feared that he would bring the weapon to the building that he would occasionly frequented in the winter and possibly shoot the baby sitter/teacher.

P.S. Will the baby sitter/teacher be required to visit the POS’s home during the school year? What time should he visit? Will the windows of the baby sitter/teachers vehicle windows be shot out while he is counselling the POS and his breeders?

Apparently you don’t need to have read all these obscure old books to have a sound grasp of American postwar political history:

Is photo shop editing part of the course work at Northwestern’s school of journalism? How do they teach propaganda to the students there these days?

I know they’re busy lying to get convicted felon murderers out so they can get good grades, but when do they have time to learn the finer points of propaganda making?

Do you get it yet, folks? It starts with the communist education system and ends with the propaganda machine of the communist dictators.

It must be easy to win a Pulitzer when most of your co-workers have no investigative skills and work for rich politicians.

Do you reporters sometimes laugh when you have to cover things up for the political class? Do you feel like whores when you do their bidding?

“Dictators” is a little strong. If only we had a communist dictator! At least we’d have a dictator. We have witty repartee, though:

>Will that make him 20 or 21 when he’s a senior in high school?

no, it will make him 16 when he drops out of 8th grade.

But not without broad perspective:

The kid is a piece of shit. The family is a piece of shit. Now multiply this statement a couple of million times to accurately describe a HUGE portion of the American population. We as a nation are really really screwed.

It wouldn’t be fun if the journalopes didn’t fight back:

The tribune sitting now has replaced the cropped photo with a picture of the scumbag in his hospital bed. Unbelieveable.

They may be less honest, but they’re certainly more literate. They also talk back—a little:

Long Post, sorry SCC.

I emailed the reporter this…

“Your first picture on the tribune website, WAS CROPPED, to eliminate the fact this teen was flashing GANG SIGNS. The full picture is available all over the internet. Now your picture of this teen in the hospital is bordering on scandalous. How dare your newspaper use these subtle techniques to slant the news. The fact is he had a realistic looking gun. Was already in the grip of a street gang, these are the things your story should mention, and that this is a BIG problem with youth in certain areas of the city. These are the facts. I feel sorry for the officer and the rest of the CPD that the trouble that your slanted biased coverage will cause. Yellow Journalism is alive and well in Chicago”

He replied with this “A couple of things… Our “first” picture -- I take it you mean the first photo we posted -- was uncropped. If you’re a regular reader on our site, you’ll know that most of the pictures we post are cropped, so our photo folks cropped it as they always do. I’m not aware whether the picture is “all over the internet” but we posted it with the family’s permission. I don’t know if the gun in question was realistic looking, I haven’t seen it, though from past experience, many BB or pellet guns do look like their real counterparts. I don’t know if he was “already in the grips” of gang life, either. Yellow journalism refers to the sensationalism of the news. What you’re accusing us of is the exact opposite: still incorrect, but not yellow journalism by its definition. Your statement is wrong because it flatly states that we as a newspaper, or I, as a journalist, have a pre-determined point of view. I’m a fact gatherer. Sometimes we get the facts, sometimes we don’t. Whatever we get, we pass it on to our readers. I like to interact with readers. I like it even better when they’re correctly informed. I hope this clears a few things up. W.”

So then I emailed him the full picture. No response, Hmmmm.

To be fair, the correspondent’s handle was “I dins do nuffins.” Sounds like AAVE to me, so he’s probably a racist. Another Mark Fuhrman! Don’t answer—subpoena that man’s IP address. We’ve got to get these bad apples off the force. Fortunately, Islam may be the solution:

Isn’t it amazing that you have to obtain a license to:

Catch a Fish Drive a Car Style Somebody’s Hair Paint Somebody’s Nails

…and yet any two morons who can figure out sex can make more people like this little bastard?

Tell me that this country (not just our city) isn’t going straight to hell. When the Islamofascists tell us how decadent and pathetic we are it’s getting harder and harder to argue with them.

SCC’s master of disaster, The Box Chevy Phantom, weighs in:

Hush up that talk about Yummy Sandifer, SCC!

99% of the fools working for the anal-whore media weren’t around when that madness was going on.

Even if less than a handful actually were, They’re so beholden to advancing the liberal, yellow-pinky Pravada-esque agenda of casting the Police as being the enemy; they can’t and won’t see the relevance of the the [sic] point you’re making.

Yummy Sandifer was a true super-predator in the making in spite of his tender years.

Yeah… His homies/executioners are caged as well they should have been.

Wonder what happened to the funky-assed leaders who not only ordered the hit but kept moving him around because if memory serves right, The Police were beating the bushes HARD looking for his little narrow ass.

They should have had the Yummy Sandifer Memorial Tour… Just rolled him from school to school to show the reward of thug life…

“He thought his boys had his back but they popped his l’il stanky ass!”

Our sympathy gland stopped working many years before that incident…

Keep Puttin’ It On ’Em SCC! They hate you because you’re a vehicle for the REAL uncensored truth getting out and it drives the yellow-pinky, trotskyite media and the political-criminal class insane to have a source of information out here that they can’t edit, spin, filter and photoshop.

To them, The Police are the enemy.

Yummy Sandifer? Yummy Sandifer. More on the demographic:

In response to 1:24 am today (“Kikishawreeka,” classic)

When I moved to Chicago from out of state 5 years ago, I went to the DMV to get an IL license. I was 32 at the time, married, no kids, working as an attorney, 29 year old wife a CPA, so both paying LOTS of taxes.

During my wait, I was sitting next to a young black lady with a cute little baby on her lap, so asked her, “How old is your daughter?”

Her reply—“Oh this ain’t my daughter, she my grandbaby. I need to become her official guardian bc my daughter is 15, I still get her social security, and need to get it for the baby too.”

I asked her how old she was—same age as me, 32. Appalling, sick, disgusting—talk about your generational welfare. It’s like the state might as well just take the money directly from my pocket, and put it into that bitch’s (though if it did that, it couldn’t profit as a middleman). I told my wife that day that we’re never buying property in Chicago, that we’re keping our cars licensed at our family’s homes in MI, and once our future (since born) children are old enough for school, we are peacing out to the burbs up north NOT in Crook County.

On an unrelated note, she & I both are grateful for you men & women in blue, especially for being willing to deal with POSs like these every day. And most attorneys here, save for the fucking litigators, feel the same was as we do.

More philosophical perspective:

We, as coppers, see it all–the good, the bad, the ugly. We don’t have the option of having filters on our eyes, hearts, or souls. We see reality. I think that is why we get so pissed off when things are distorted by the media. Tell the damn truth. It’s pretty arrogant of them to think they have the moral authority to spin stories. If that was the pic given, print the damn thing.

SCC himself continues in a new story:

Is this real?

picture of replica BB gun

It sure looks real.

Now what if someone pointed it at you? Would you defend yourself?

We certainly would. And we wouldn’t blame anyone else who did. Guess what?

That’s exactly what happened. With that specific gun. You see, that’s the gun used by this kid…

picture of 13-year-old honor student with blunt, flashing gang signs

… to shoot out a bunch of windows at the Piccolo School and a van in the 011 District before he pointed it at an officer, who then shot him. The gun pictured was recovered and inventoried and the subject made a full confession.

So the next time the Slum Times says police are “trigger happy,” remember that first photo. That dumbass kid is lucky to be breathing in the hospital instead of pushing up daisies at Burr Oak, though that will probably happen soon enough anyway.

I’m definitely keeping my brats away from the “Piccolo School.” I’m also encouraging them not to point their BB guns at any Chicago cops:

In the words of Apollo Creed… I would drop him like a bad habit!

Violence is never far from the savage mind of the redneck cop:

That picture makes me wanna punch that kid in the fucking face.

But interpretation of motives is his profession:

Wow, he was shooting out the windows of the school where’s he’s an A/B student at. Maybe they should have given him all A’s? That’s why he’s mad at the school.

Definitely do not point any kind of weapon at a police officer, honor students:

About 15 years ago a 14 year old pointed one of those 1911 look-a-likes that shoots darts, BBs, and pellets at me. He then ran into a building. I kicked the door open and he already had his hands in the air and the gun was on the ground. If not for that I would have shot him. The point is that that gun looked real enough to me, so much so that the barrel looked like it was a real 45 or 44.

But we are reminded of how easy it is for a pinko Trotskyist to spin a story:

That isn’t what most people think of when they think of BB guns.

They think of the Red Ryder like on “A Christmas Story.”


Hell I’ll still shoot if that was pointed at me. It looks like a cut down 22.

There’s no pity at all on the street:

I saw the daddy on tv saying his son’s hand is mangled–isn’t that what they want us to do? Shoot the gun out of their hands and not kill them?

So what’s he bitching about? It’s not like the kid used his hands to practice arithmetic! Or to communicate with the deaf!

He won’t be flashing gang signs any more, it sounds like–and if there is a God, he won’t be able to hold a gun either!

Or wipe his ass!

There is no sympathy whatsoever for Americans with disabilities:

I recall working CTA special on Chicago Ave one hot July 3rd watch shift some years ago. It looked like a convention of motorized wheelchair salesmen with all the young thugs and their paralyzing GSW’s motoring up and down Chicago Ave from about 3600—3800 W. in their nice shiny ’guvment paid for battery powered wheelchairs.

It was one of those west side moments most people never get a chance to appreciate or comprehend. Like a big old ghetto ride tooling along on one tire with air, one flat tire and two bare steel rims with sparks flying, driver grinning like it’s Christmas.

And this is just classic cop humor:

This kid is already gone, lost to society, forever unemployable and destined for prison or the graveyard. He saw the video, he got the style. Hell, people were laughing and putting hats on him sideways, taking snapshots, when he was 18 months old. Teaching him to signify. Little party joke. “Look! He doin’ it! He doin’ it!”


Thug life is imbibed along with baby mama’s lumpy-mixed Similac in these houses. End of story.

There is not a moment’s doubt in my mind that he’d have been banging off a real gun at everyone and everything he could see if he’d been able to get hold of one.

He doin’ it! He doin’ it! Hm, sounds like more of that AAVE. Racist, murderous cops:

I’d smoke him like a pack of KOOLS!

But fortunately, not all cops are racist:

I should begin this posting, SCC, by identifying myself as a recently retired Detective of 30 years with the Chicago Police Department, and I am also African American.

I have always been proud of this organization and supportive of it even during it’s lowest times. I have seen both the very good and bad of the Department, have weathered the many storms it has faced since I came on in 1981, have enjoyed it’s brother/sisterhood and fraternity, have been there to mourn our loses and support our fallen members families and friends.

I say all this because I am particularly incensed at comments made by a group of “reverands”, who’s remarks were televised on WBBM Channel 5, 29 Jul 11 during the 6:00 pm broadcast. Some “spokesman” for the group suggested that the Chicago Police Department were neither properly trained, were not executing their assignments and were afraid/scared to do their jobs in the Black community. This clown had the audacity to say that as a result of his “observations” of police behavior in the African American community that he and his group of “holy men” would be petitioning the United States Justice Department to intervene in some fashion because they are dissatisfied with how the Chicago Police are shooting indiscriminately in the Black community.

Having been there, as a police officer who has pushed a beat car, worked Tact, several specialized units, assigned as a Detective, and as a current resident of the community, I would beg to differ with this fool and his cohorts. If he had the same opportunities I’ve had and seen what really goes on in some of these communities from my/our perspective, he would be loath to have spoken those words.

My disgust and revulsion at his remarks are difficult to describe. I cannot find the words to explain how much I dispise he and his kind. They are no more than leeches that feed off City programs so long as they turn out Machine votes from a constituency who care neither about themselves or their neighbors. He need only do a “ride along” for one tour of duty, have his ass shot at once, or suffer a beatdown or “punkin’ head” at the hands of a member of his flock and I’m certain he would have a chance of perspective. If he actually lives in one of these communities, he is either blind or a complete liar to suggest that his “flock” are innocent and should not be treated the way they are. Just how would he expect the police to respond to being shot at or confronted with an armed offender—irrespective of race?

My point is, SCC, keep putting out the correct information and rally the troops. Once again we are on our own with our backs to the wall. While we fight daily to do our jobs, protect our brothers and sisters in arms and still come home at the end of our tour the same as we left, we need not feel ashamed for protecting ourselves or one another. WE are the only ones we have. There is no one else. We owe no one an apology and we should afford no quarter to anyone who would attempt to prevent us from doing our job or threaten our lives or those of our brothers and sisters.

This hateful rhetoric from opportunistic race pimps and politically connected community “leaders” will not abate until they themselves become victims of the very “victims” they claim to represent.

This whole thing is not about race. It about adhering to and following the law, respecting lawful authority and our established institutions, and it about moral behavior. Nothing more, nothing less.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, haters—like a pack of KOOLS! If only it were just about race. Why, if it were only about race, we could send all the “mutts” and “shitbirds” (common SCC labels for “the element”) back to Africa. Then all we’d have to deal with is our beautiful, white, homegrown meth-heads.

But someone has a solution in mind:

If people are interested I will pursue this. I will set up a holdings company with little to no assets and a low cash flow (for possible law suit reasons). I will have that holdings company start and own a real and factual Chicago newspaper. I can handle the business end and possibly some stories. But I would need help from others for stories and other paper content. We could set it up as a 1 day a week paper at first and see where it goes. If it goes nowhere we only loose our time and some printing costs associated with the copies we ran. I would be willing to gamble a few thousand at first to see where it goes but I would rather not risk much more than that.

I am not a cop. I have CPD in my blood. I am a former member of the armed forces and I currently own a few businesses. I will watch the postings. If people are interested in helping in any way post it. If there is interest (postings) I will set up an email address solely for getting us together to coordinate our approach. I will say that if anyone wants to be involved just to make money off this don’t bother. Startup companies even with low overhead take a long time to get out of the red.

Hm. Good intentions, sir, but if you were an Ivy-educated Jew like me, you’d know to say “lose our time.” You can lose a lot of time and money both, trying to fight the great and the good. And to what end? You inform the people, and they do… what?

The Box Chevy Phantom goes straight to the point:

In our honest and very biased opinion?

We would try our level best to kill the non-stop shit out of this little misfit whether full sunlight or the blue-purple hour of midnight if he brandishes the item in question.

“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on” to anybody who says The Police should check their fire in the face of this madness.

Keep. Killing. Them.

They boast and swagger about not having fear of The Police.

Funny how they fear each other and cry for The Police to baby-sit vast swaths of the West and South Sides because the inhabitants embrace a lifestyle of that encourages willful ignorance and embraces death and destruction purely for the sake of destruction and death.

It’s the only way they think they can guilt-trip the rest of society into giving them what they want instead having a desire to reap the true benefit of joining the rest of society by virtue of hard work, delayed gratification etc.

The reality is that there will be some people who choose to be left behind.


Bet you a fat-man that when Noah’s Ark started floating and that water got kinda high, some fools were hollering and banging on the sides demanding to be let in…

“Noooaahhh! You racist for not lettin’ us in!”


“Heh… Ain’t gonna hap’n cap’n! if you wanted to be dry and inside, you had every chance to get right… Now yo ass is gonna get left! Gonna pray for you though…”

We think the stage is being set either for the death of this country as we know it or the second Revolution.

Or possibly both. Either way, though, I’m hearing some serious AAVE. That’s reality for ya, dog. All I know about America in the 22nd century is that everyone, regardless of race, color or creed, will call everyone else “nigga.”